I was thinking about high school the other day and how many decisions I made that make me cringe. I could just chalk it up to the whole learning to navigate the world thing, but mostly they are choices where I set myself up for injury.
If there is anything that growing up has done for me it has made me confident in my choices and gave me an understanding that I have worth and value. I am not perfect at remembering this, but I know when to look at something and think it is ridiculous instead of being sad. I guess you could say that I have really obtained a sense of humor for this little ol' life of mine. Just because something is sad does not mean the world is ending.
So back to high school.
I was thinking specifically about when I was a very young 16 and had just broken up with my first ever "official" boyfriend. We broke up because he had no money and asked me to pay for everything. Cringe-Cringe-Cringe. However, that is not the point of this story. The point is that even after we broke up I thought maybe we could stay friends and it might lead to something down the road once he matured, because obviously we were "destined" for each other. Cringe-Cringe-Cringe.
We were talking one day and he was lamenting about how he didn't have a spot to park at high school. I think this was because he forgot to pay for it or didn't have the money? Whatever the circumstances, me in my 16 year-old mind came up with a brilliant idea and said, "Hey, I live pretty close to school, why don't you just park in my driveway and ride with me. Then whenever I can't drive you you'll be close enough to walk."
Oh little krystle. How nice and naive you were. Such an innocent gestured riddled with so much teen angst.
This arrangement went on for a couple weeks without incident. He was nice. I liked spending time and keeping tabs on him. That hardest part about breaking up is when the other person moves on so I liked keeping myself fully informed.
One day I had to leave school early. I have no idea what for, but I drove home early and saw his car parked in the driveway, per usual, but something was different. I pulled in and walked over and what? was? all? over? his? car? Oreos? Crepe paper? What is this?
Then it all clicked. SOMEONE FREAKING ASKED MY EX-BOYFRIEND TO PROM IN MY DRIVEWAY.
Let that sink in for a while.
This is one of those moments when your jaw-dropping is the only way to describe it. My little 16 year old heart was broken and now it was crushed. What would someone normally do in this situation? That I am not sure because I don't think something like this can ever be thrown in the normal category. I was devastated. How could she. How could this girl, who had known that we had dated for 9 months, have the audacity to ask him to prom in my driveway? Thank heaven for mothers that pull you into a tight hug and then run out the door for some Ben & Jerry's. I think I texted him, but I'm not sure. If I did, I am sure it was a string of incoherent text-ranting that I hate to say accompanied my early cell phone owning days a little too much. Plus each text cost me .10 cents each to send. Stupid pre paid phones.
After school he came to pick up his truck, knocked on the door and said he was sorry. That he didn't know if was going to happen.
I guess that was nice of him. He could have just driven away.
I think I said something like, "I don't think you should park here anymore" and then he didn't. I saw that girl at school the next day and I didn't say anything. I kept a pretty low profile and rocking the boat wasn't something I really considered. 25 year old krystle would probably handle this whole situation very differently. She probably would never have let her lame* ex-boyfriend park in her driveway in the first place and you bet for damn sure some boat rocking would happen.
And isn't that one of the great things that comes with age? Using situations and setting up circumstances that will make you happy. Seeing the terrible end before it even begins. At least sometimes. So that's it. A little story about what seemed, at the time, to be one of the worst moments of my life and it is something I want to remember.
*he actually turned out to be a very nice man in case you were wondering.